The adventure that is in front of me has started to settle in, and I realize that I have no idea what I’m doing. Writing about it sets it into perspective a bit, and somewhat helps me deal with the whole situation. I wouldn’t say that I am panicking, but given the fact that I am literally selling and/or thrashing everything I own, it has come to my attention that there really isn’t any “going back”.
If I were to end up selling or trashing everything I own, only to go to Australia and come back two months later, I would hate myself for the rest of my life. There is no chance that I am coming back that quickly, why the 1st of August is kind of a landmark date for me. August 1st is when I’ll leave, and it will be a long time before I return home to the calming and soothing little island of Fyn, where I’ve spent the majority of my life.
I had to go to Sjælland (an island connected to Fyn by an amazing bridge) the other day, and I realized that I could easily count on my hands the number of times that I had been there. I really have lived most of my life on Fyn, and in my heart of hearts I don’t think of that as solely positive.
Living on Fyn and in Denmark in general has been good in terms of controllability and predictability. It has been a sweet spot to grow up in, and I am happy to have been born in Denmark – don’t ge me wrong. I had my life handed to me on a silver plate, and it has enabled me to plant my roots and build my life around whatever I wanted. Being born in Denmark is literally the same as winning the lottery, and I always believed that I shouldn’t take that lightly. I have had better odds than most people, just by being born where I was born – I know that. When you stop and think about that, it kind of messes with your head. On the other hand, this doesn’t mean that I pity everybody else, or that I am allowed to put myself on a pedestal – it means that I acknowledge the hand that I have been dealt, and that I see myself having somewhat of a requirement to utilize it for something. It would be a shame anything else – though I am more than allowed to do so. It’s my life, and if I wanted to waste it, I would be more than allowed to.
All of this is not bragging and it’s not a cry to the outside world about the fact that my life is so hard and demanding (even though I am a millennial, so I could play that card, since it seems to be used a lot) – it is an objective observation that brings me to the conclusion that I should act and utilize my skills. For crying out loud, the Danish government pays you a monthly salary for studying. Danish citizens don’t just have a possibility to study free of charge – you literally get to study and on top of that get a payment amounting to around 850$ each month for doing so. And it is not just at Universities – it’s more or less all educations that allows for this payment. How can you not grab that chance?
Had I been born in US, I wouldn’t have been able to save up ∼70.000DKK (around 10.000 freedom dollars). Had I studied a Master’s degree in US, chances are I would have been in debt for the next 15 years, trying to pay it back. Instead I now hold a Master’s degree, and I got spare change to explore a country for a whole year.
So what does the grand plan entail? It entails uncontrolability and unpredictability. It entails me going to Melbourne with no f*cking plan whatsoever, and figure out how to live my life, while utilizing my skills. It entails me having no place to sleep the first night that I arrive, and it probably entails me walking around stupidly confused. I envision that this scenario is healthy to experience, why I deliberately haven’t made any plans and given the whole trip any major thought. I booked the ticket, I got whatever essentiel material I need with me, and the rest I got in my head – I hope. And if I don’t, I’ll find a solution and experience something that way around.
I’ve got an idea–an idea so smart that my head would explode if I even began to know what I’m talking about.
– Peter Griffin
It’s weird being this exciting for something you have no idea what is.